good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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