he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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