worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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