batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
