I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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