Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i now understand why vodka
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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