yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
