Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
