i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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