I faked an abortion last night.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm both gender and math confused
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
