i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
