i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
