Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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