Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
