there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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