Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
