Define "chronic" masturbator.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
only you would photoshop your dick
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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