youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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