Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
