GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize