Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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