dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
