the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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