The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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