it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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