also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
