Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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