I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
