so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
