I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize