i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just forgot I was standing up.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
