I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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