i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
