This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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