I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think people are normalizing furries
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
