Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I met the friendliest cop last night
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
