We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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