She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
