remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
