This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
