whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
