You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
