I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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