i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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