I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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