This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
