why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
