if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
that may or may not have been my penis.
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