I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
