just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
