i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
smell my finger.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
