the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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