You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
