Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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