You can't special order awesome
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Less talking, more tequila
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
