How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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