ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
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I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Boobs speak an international language.
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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